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If you have read my previous blogs or should I say vents you will understand what I am talking about!

I may not be able to change all the things I want to change, but coming back here is a positive thing! I can work on my health and losing weight is the first thing to do that.  Losing weight will not cure my back issues, but I am sure it will help! I am just going to wait for my Dr. appointment next week to figure out what I am going to do about PT. Maybe my Primary Dr. will have some ideas!

Went to the ortho dr. and he wants me to do physical therapy! Told him I can’t afford it! He said maybe I could go once or twice and they could show me what to do at home! Yea right! I called one that takes my insurance and was told no! That is not how it works! You come for an evaluation and then two or three times a week for 4 or 5 weeks! Well that isn’t happening! Even with my insurance that would cost me over $100.00 a week, plus the time I would have to miss from work to go! Well I looked up some exercises on line for my condition and I will just do them at home! I have such a headache I could scream about now! Instead I will just blog my frustrations!

so why do I always worry about what is going to happen? I need to just wait for the outcome! Somethings are just that way.

Right now I am worrying about what is going to happen when I go see the Orthopedic Dr. today! Why am I worrying about something that I have no control over? I have had this pain for so long that it has taken over my life! I can’t do the things I use to do! I can’t enjoy the things I use to! When I go shopping I need to use a cart to lean on! I don’t dare do too much at once either! That means one store and then home! I have 6 grand-kids and I can’t keep up with them! Well I know that is really impossible, but I can’t do the things with them I would like to do!  It takes me forever to do the things that need to be done at home! I can’t stand long enough to do a sink full of dishes! Sweeping and mopping well that’s another chore! Sweep the floor, sit for a bit then mop! Vacuuming well I sit in my computer chair and scoot around the living room! This is ridiculous at my age! I am 51 not 81! New Years, hubby and I went out with my brother and his g/f to an American Legion! I was one of the youngest people there! I love to dance, but couldn’t even do that! The older people there could dance circles around me! I am just tired and depressed over this! When pain takes over your life it is time to do something! I know that my weight contributes to my pain, but it is not the cause of it! I sure hope that today, is the day that something happens that helps me deal with this pain! I keep worrying will he pull me out of work? Then what disability pays crap! Will I continue to work? The pain is so bad at times, I don’t know how I am going to make it through the day! It is a no win situation!  I know that no matter what happens I will get through it!

Well yesterday was the first day back on track! I stayed under calories and I put it in the food journal! I need to journal my food to keep on track!

When I originally started here at BS I weighed 310 and got down to almost 200 lbs. I then proceeded to gain almost all of it back. I now weigh in at 299! Here I go, only this time, I will take it off and keep it off!

I know I have said this all before, but I am determined that this is the year!

I have had a rough year! So many family things that have set me back!

I have also had some health issues that have made me give up on myself! I have been diagnosed with Degenerative Disk Disease! I have an appointment tomorrow with an Orthopedic  Doctor and I will just go from there.

I have lost and gained as many of you know! I am determined that even if I can’t exercise, I can at least eat right! I know this weight does not help my back issue, and maybe with the loss of some weight it will help with that!

This is the year, I do something for myself!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here is to 2012!

and I have lost 16 lbs. I lost 2 this week.

I keep asking myself why I got off track, but I have no answers, only excuses! The only thing that is important now is I am back on track!

I am so thankful for the wonderful friends I have made that help keep me on track. The friends who offer me encouragement, support, motivation and inspiration!

I hope everyone has an amazing week!

HUGS!

Yea! So good to be back on track!

Some days can still be a struggle, but I am going to take this weight off this time and keep it off!

HUGS!

I am glad BS didn’t shut down after all! I spend more time on SP than here, but I still love BS! I wouldn’t have some of the amazing friends I have or learned so many things if it weren’t for BS!

I have lost 12 lbs. in the past two weeks! I wish I had come back sooner, but at least I am back! I can’t do anything about the past and all the weight I gained except to get my butt back in gear and take it off once and for all!

Tomorrow is going to be a big test! Family get together with hubby’s family! I am going prepared, I am making my Oriental Coleslaw and I am taking my measuring cups with me just in case there is something I can’t resist!

I hope everyone is having an awesome weekend!

HUGS

so the last one wasn’t my last blog….LOL

Well this week at SP I made some amazing friends and met up with some old friends. I got myself back on track with some wonderful help and I lost 8 lbs. I know every week won’t be like that, but hey I am going to take it!

Hope everyone has a good weekend and week!

HUGS

If this is true and BS is shutting down!
I have met many a friend here! I have had ups and downs! Lately too many downs, so I haven’t been here in awhile! I gained back almost every thing I lost! I am Spark People now! Look for me if you join or are already a member! I need my friends to help keep me on track! I hope that it is not true, because this has been a wonderful site that helped me through a lot. I made friends that mean a lot to me and if it weren’t for BS I would never have met them! Good Bye, Buddy Slim!