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You don’t know how hard it is for me too keep my mouth shut at times! I had to keep telling myself it isn’t really my business! For those of you that know my hubby and I work for the same company. I am a bus monitor for special needs children and my husband is the dispatcher/office supervisor. I don’t go into the office very often. I live right on the way for the runs I do. I am picked up and dropped off by my driver every day! I have issues with things that go on in that place and I would rather not be there for the most part! They have a real issue with workplace harrasessment both sexual and just a hostile workplace in general. It has gotten a lot better since it was taken over by a larger company, but still not where it should be. There are people there that run there mouths about things that are none of their concern and I have been a frequent victim of these attacks. Some of my co-workers claim I get special treatment because my husband is a member of management! Believe me I don’t, if anything I get held to a higher standard. I do my job and I do it well and I hold myself to my own personal standards as well as the companies. I follow the rules as should everyone. If I witness something that is wrong I report it. I am a member of the safety committee and the employee committee and I take the responsibililties serious. I go in once in awhile for meetings or just because I am going to have lunch with my hubby.

My hubby is off work right now recovering from surgery. He goes back to work on Wednesday. I had not been in there while hubby has been off until yesterday when I went in for a safety meeting. I prepared myself or so I thought. I had been getting feed back from co-workers I see every day about the things the woman who is doing my husbands job while he is off! For three days she was questioning my driver on the times she was leaving to come pick me up. My driver finally showed her the sheet showing the times she leaves base. My driver finally blew up at her and had to talk to the branch manager. She was running her mouth about how I should be coming in there instead of getting picked up at home. I had been told how she had rearranged my husbands desk and files. I saw what she had done, and boy is he going to flip when he goes back to work and sees his office area! She is questioning everyone on there times and trying to change things. The boss is not a good boss and he is allowing this! I just couldn’t handle the crap I saw when I was in there, she has let her subbing for my hubby go to her head and acting like she is doing a much better job than him. I wanted to rip her head off yesterday! I kept my mouth shut, but she kept popping in the room while we were having our safety meeting. We had to stop talking every time she came in because it was private information we needed to discuss. We had to go over all accident information for the past year and decide if the accidents were preventable or not and what should be done, like more training etc. She is not on the committee, but she just kept hanging around!

Everybody thanks for listening! I just had to get this off my chest, and I sure can’t discuss it with hubby!! Grrrrrrrrr!

Bad week but I maintained and it is better than a gain!!

Hope you all have a great weekend!!

HUGS

My hubby is driving me nuts! He is suppose to go back to work on Wednesday as long as he is healing well when he goes to the doctors on Tuesday! I am so not use to him being home all the time! He is on the computer all day while he is watching TV. Last night I had enough of NCIS he watched like three in a row and then COPS, while playing games on the computer! I wanted to watch something else or use the computer and he grumped at me and told me I was on the computer all the time!! I was like when??!! Grrrrrrr!

My youngest son finally got a job!! Yeah! I am so happy! I really hope he grows up with a daughter on the way! His daughter who they have named Paityn is due December 3rd. This will make grandchild number 5 for me and grandaughter number 4! My gift for being a mother of 3 boys!! I am finally getting my gifts of girls with my grandaughters!! LOL

Last night my eating was not the best! I will try harder today, but I am having a very emotional week with hubby home!!

Hope you are all have a great day!

HUGS!

Hubby is still home since his surgery on Friday. He is healing well, for this I am thankfull. I just wish next Wednesday would get here. He is driving me nuts. I am use to my me time when I come home from work inbetween runs. Today I didn’t go home after my midday run. My driver and I are at the library. I figured some free computer time. Hubby has taken over the computer pretty much at home.

Yesterday was a horrible day. They say bad things come in threes and I had my threes yesterday. My hot water heater went the day before, then yesterday morning my washer and my cordless phone. Then to top of yesterday I had a dentist appointment. I have to have some extensive dental work and the insurance company still has not gotten back to the dentist about how much they are going to cover so that I know what I will have to pay. Hopefully they will work with me on a payment plan.

I know I promised to come on every day, but right now it is next to imposssible.

I will come on as much as I can. Thank goodness for the library!

Hope you are all having an awesome day!!

HUGS

It has been hard sticking too plan, but hopefully I will do okay this week.

Hubby is having surgery tomorrow and you would think it was me having it! It is gallbladder surgery so it is not a complicated surgery, but I am one of those chronic worry warts! I have not slept good since he found out he was having surgery! He tells me not to worry like that is going to stop me! He is my soul mate and we have been married almost 31 years! When he hurts I hurt so it is not easy for me!

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!!

Biggest HUGS to all of my wonderful buddies (friends)!

I did exactly what I tell other buddies not to do! I gained a few pounds and I stayed away! Instead of admitting I needed more help and support I stayed away and couldn’t get back on track! Now instead of it being just a couple pounds it is 11 lbs.! When I saw that this morning, I wanted to run away again!! I didn’t I am here!

What I really need to do is work on keeping things in perspective! Learn what I can change and what I can’t! Things in my life will never be perfect!

My hubby is having surgery on Friday! He is having his gallbladder removed! He has pollops on his gallbladder they think the pollops are cholesterol pollops! Thankfully he has sick days and vacation he can use and not have go the disability route I had to do when I had my surgery! Right at this point I don’t want more financial worries!

I have also been busy starting up being an Avon Representative! It is a slow start, but I think it will all work out! It is so awesome that you can have your own website and collect orders from family and friends who are to far away for you to deliver to yourself!

I am back and I am here to stay! I am not sure just how much I will be on here this week with all I have going on!

My goal for this week is to come on at least once a day! That is except Friday when my hubby has his surgery!!

I hope you are all having an amazing weekend!!

Thank you for all the support, inspiration and motivation!!

HUGS!!!!!

Sitting here this morning doing some thinking! Wondering why I am always HANGING ON! I hang to things both physically and emotionally! I have to much junk that is cluttering up my life! It is hard for me to throw anything away and give up on anything! Sometimes this is a good thing! It is a good thing that I hang on to BS and all of my good buddies (FRIENDS) here at BS. It is a good thing that I hang on to getting losing weight and getting healthier! It is a bad thing that hang onto things that need to just be gone! I hang onto emotional issues that need to just be tossed out with the trash! I need to learn how to let it go! My hubby is always telling me LET IT GO! I don’t know how! I have to much physical junk too! It clutters up my closets, my desk, everything! Don’t get me wrong, my house is not like those on TV with people that hoard things, but it cluttered. I get this from my mother! I am always thinking if I throw this away I will need it next week! I hold onto useless things because it holds an emotional attatchment. My dad has been gone 11 years and I won’t throw away a thing he gave me! It is like if I don’t get rid of it, I won’t lose my memories! I hold on to hurt and pain people have caused me! I want to let it go, but then it makes me feel vulnerable! I feel like I have to start letting some of the physical and emotional baggage I have lying around to move on with my life and my journey! Just don’t really know how to do it!

There is one thing I really have to do today!

I am letting go of my FAB team! I have worked hard at this team and so few members come anymore! It served it’s purpose! I met many wonderful buddies and I hang onto that as I say Good-bye to this team and move on!

I am back on track and I plan on staying that way!!

Have an awesome weekend my FRIENDS!

Biggest HUGS Ever!!

I know it was my choice to be the fool I was on vacation. We went out to much and I made very bad food choices. Every place we went to I had the opportunity to eat healthy and I choice not too!! I kept telling myself I was on vacation! It was a big excuse and a big mistake! You see now, I am having a really hard time getting back on track! I know I will do it, I am just so dissapointed in myself!

I feels so sluggish and tired! I have been skipping my vitamins, not drinking enough water, and eating all the wrong things! As of today, I am back to journaling my food, taking my vitamins and drinking my water! Today is the day I get back on track completely with everything including the dreaded excercise!!

Hope everyone is having an awesome day!!

HUGS!!

I knew they did, but convinced myself that it wasn’t going to be that bad it was only 9 days of vacation. How in the world could I put on 9 lbs.? I hope some is water, but I know I also ate whatever I wanted and drank whatever I wanted. I know I could have made good choices, but I kept telling myself I am on vacation!

For the most part, I had a great time in Virginia on vacation! We went to visit my youngest sister and her partner and my niece and nephew. Bad thing half way through our visit, my sister got a phone call her ex-mother in law who lived here in NY passed away. She was only 56 yrs. old. She was a very overweight and unhealthy person. She was over 400 lbs. at about 5 feet tall. She had been in the hopspital for quite awhile with many health issues. They were on the way into surgery for a procedure she needed and she went into cardiac arrest and they could not save her! My neice and nephew were devasted at the loss of their grandmother and left to come to NY with their dad for the funeral. This is a wake up call for me! I am 49 years old do I want this to happen to me? But it was not enough of a wake up call that I began watching what I was eating the rest of vacation!!

I actually did not get back on my scales until today and I almost flipped!! No wonder my clothes feel tight!! I am not going back there!! I am back with a vengance and I really mean it this time!! I need all my buddies to kick my butt, big time!!

HUGS!

Yesterday I got myself back on track with my eating!! Yea it felt great!! I now have to get back on track with some excercise! I know that there will be days I slip up, but I can’t let that stop me any more!!

Thanks to all of my wonderful buddies that help me with so much motivation, and inspiration!

Kama, and Kimmi thanks for not letting me throw in the towel! Telling me I am worth it on the days, I don’t feel like I am! I know I am worth it, I just forget about it some days when I am trying to find time for me!! I have always put everyone else first and it is hard to say no. I am really going to work harder on this!

I hope you all have an awesome day!

HUGS

This is what I will repeat to myself every time I want to eat something I should not!

Here I am almost three years later still plugging along at BS! I have learned so much along the way, but I am tired of being fat! I am going to stop crying about it and do something about it! I am going to get serious again!! Yeah I have said it all before, but for some reason I know I am going to do it this time!

No matter how much I worry about my kids and what they do, they are going to do what they want to do and hopefully learn from their mistakes! They are adults and I have to stop trying to fix everything for them!

I will go see my mother more and focus on the fact she loves me and I love her! The communication is hard, but just being there is what is important!

I will keep reminding myself, two more weeks and I have three off and then…….we are going to Virginia for a week! Yipee!

I hope everyone had a super weekend and you all have a wonderful week!!

BIG HUGS!