nana4

My hubby just doesn’t get it! This is not about him, this is about me! I am doing this for me! I don’t just want to look better, I want to be healthier. Last night when he got home from work, he told me about a comment a co-worker made when he was eating lunch. Besides his 2 peanut butter and Jam sandwiches on white bread, he had chips and little debbies! The co-worker asked him if packing all that junk for him bothered me and he said he told her “no I don’t think so”! I told him you don’t think so?!! Well it does, it is hard for me to try to live a healthier lifestyle with all the junk and temptation in this house!! Most days I can handle it, but let me tell you all the self talk in the world doesn’t help me when after dinner he makes 3 trips to the kitchen to get more junk!

Some days I feel like everything is falling apart! I don’t know how to get everyone around here to do more! I get up at around 4 every morning hoping to get in some excercise, but not always able to do it. It takes me at least 3 to 4 trips back to the bedroom every morning to get hubby up, he can lay there with the alarm going off forever and never hear it. I have to almost drag him out of bed. I usually end up sounding like a bitch, but I just don’t get it. Does he think I enjoy getting up at 4 to do everything and not have the me time I deserve? I end up starting laundry and other things. I leave home at 6:30 then around 7 I have to start calling home to make sure my 18 year old is up for school. He is just like his dad, and can’t get up on his own!! I come home on my midmorning break and finish laundry and other chores, then go back to work. I come home at 4 and start dinner, then do the dinner clean up, by that time I am exhausted. I just want to take my shower and go to bed!

I hate feeling this way! I just don’t know how to make time for me without everything else around me falling apart! I use to do it all and not complain, but that was the old me! That was when I was not trying to make time for me! I let everyone depend on me and didn’t care about making time for me! Now how do I break the habit of doing for everyone else and getting them to help me more without turning in to a big bitch!

Some days I could just go back to the old me, but don’t worry it isn’t happening!! I am never going back, I just wish this journey wasn’t so hard!

I hope all my buddies are having a great week!!!!

Hugs to you all! Without your support, inspiration and motivation, I would not have come this far!!