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My hubby just doesn’t get it! This is not about him, this is about me! I am doing this for me! I don’t just want to look better, I want to be healthier. Last night when he got home from work, he told me about a comment a co-worker made when he was eating lunch. Besides his 2 peanut butter and Jam sandwiches on white bread, he had chips and little debbies! The co-worker asked him if packing all that junk for him bothered me and he said he told her “no I don’t think so”! I told him you don’t think so?!! Well it does, it is hard for me to try to live a healthier lifestyle with all the junk and temptation in this house!! Most days I can handle it, but let me tell you all the self talk in the world doesn’t help me when after dinner he makes 3 trips to the kitchen to get more junk!

Some days I feel like everything is falling apart! I don’t know how to get everyone around here to do more! I get up at around 4 every morning hoping to get in some excercise, but not always able to do it. It takes me at least 3 to 4 trips back to the bedroom every morning to get hubby up, he can lay there with the alarm going off forever and never hear it. I have to almost drag him out of bed. I usually end up sounding like a bitch, but I just don’t get it. Does he think I enjoy getting up at 4 to do everything and not have the me time I deserve? I end up starting laundry and other things. I leave home at 6:30 then around 7 I have to start calling home to make sure my 18 year old is up for school. He is just like his dad, and can’t get up on his own!! I come home on my midmorning break and finish laundry and other chores, then go back to work. I come home at 4 and start dinner, then do the dinner clean up, by that time I am exhausted. I just want to take my shower and go to bed!

I hate feeling this way! I just don’t know how to make time for me without everything else around me falling apart! I use to do it all and not complain, but that was the old me! That was when I was not trying to make time for me! I let everyone depend on me and didn’t care about making time for me! Now how do I break the habit of doing for everyone else and getting them to help me more without turning in to a big bitch!

Some days I could just go back to the old me, but don’t worry it isn’t happening!! I am never going back, I just wish this journey wasn’t so hard!

I hope all my buddies are having a great week!!!!

Hugs to you all! Without your support, inspiration and motivation, I would not have come this far!!

I can’t believe I actually lost anything this week. I had a vistit from that darn TOM this week! Every time I think I have seen the last of him he returns! I have been going through Perimenopause for about 3 years and so I have only been seeing TOM about every 6 months or so, but when he shows up, he is a very annoying unwanted guest that I can’t wait to leave.

When I reach this mini goal I will then be at my half way point of the total I want to lose! I will then have to make a new mini goal.

I  also went back to work this week. I love my schedule of a split shift. I go to work at 6 am come home around 9:30 leave again at 12:30 and get home for the day around 4. I love coming home during the day. During the summer I don’t get that split shift, so I am now adjusting to the new schedule. Though I love it, as always with me the changes are difficult to adjust too!

Today hubby is working and I am going to a flea market with my oldest brother and his wife. I should get in lots of walking.

My grandaughter really wanted to come with me today, but I need a day for me without kids, but it kind of made me feel bad, so hubby is picking her up tonight when he gets done with work. So she gets tommorrow with her nana!

Have a good one, buddies!

I am the Queen of making excuses for everything I don’t get around too! I always have an excuse why I didn’t excercise today! I got up late, my legs hurt, I am too tired, I didn’t have time!! Well NO MORE!! I am going to make time! I will set my alarm a little earier, I will survive if my legs hurt, excercise will give me more energy if I am tired, I will make time!! I don’t like the way my flab is just hanging around and it will continue to just hang around if I don’t start toning it up!!

This morning I did the whole tape of Walk Away the Pounds Express 1 mile!! The last time I only accomplished 1/2 mile! I am proud of myself that I did the whole thing this time!

Thank you buddies for your comments on my last blog! I feel a lot better! I had a little talk with hubby! He really won’t admit that he is worried about things when I reach my goal! I have tried to totally reassure him how much I love him and I just want his support and understanding! I will not try to push my way of eating on him, I just hope that eventually he will want to try to do it again on his own! I thought this weekend when he bought some new pants and they did not fit he would attempt it again, but he said he would buy a bigger size the next time!

I messed up a bit over the weekend, but I am back on track!

I hope you all had a great weekend and were able to stick to your plan, but if not I hope you hopped right back on track today!

Have a good one!!

The past couple of days, I have had to go into base where I work, I usually leave from home! For those of you who don’t know, my hubby and I work for the same company (I don’t recommend this to anyone)! The boss likes my phone skills so when it is time for new preschool runs to start he asks me to come in and make the phone calls to parents giving them the pick up and drop off times for their children. This makes me feel good that I am counted on for something I feel is important ( good communication between the parents and the company)! Well yesterday was a big safety meeting too so everybody was there and a lot of them I hardly ever see since I don’t come in much!! I got tons of compliments on my weight loss and I was feeling great about it! I was flying high and I felt wonderful!! Then hubby brought it all crashing down!! We were grocery shopping! Last week when we went shopping he tells me he is not buying his usual little debbies and other junk, he was going to buy fruits and stuff, and I was like Wow! okay, but I did not make a big deal of it!! This week we are shopping and all of a sudden he starts putting little debbies in the cart, and all I said was what happened to not buying these anymore? He goes well I didn’t lose anything! I said so you are going to quit allready? He then proceeds to tell me if I want to be a healthnut go ahead, but he is going to eat what he wants, I was like okay! We continue to shop and we get to the baking aisle and I asked do you want me to get brownies to make for the picnic we are going too. All of a sudden he is like NO, I don’t want it, you just be a healthnut and buy whatever you want, but don’t you dare ever tell me what to eat again!! He goes stomping out of the store leaving me standing there wondering what the hell is going on! I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes and I am telling myself don’t give up!! I continue to shop and then it is like CLICK…… I didn’t do a thing!! For some reason, he doesn’t like my new found confidence……..he feels threatened by the compliments I have been getting all day!! Why after almost 29 years is he feeling threatened by this, doesn’t he know how much I love him!! Sure he gives me compiments and tells me how good I look and how proud he is of me! But how proud of me is he? I don’t know what to do, but I do know one thing!! I am not giving up! I won’t give up! This has been one rambling blog, but I have to get it off my chest and try to move on and not stress myself!! Does he really want to make me cave in?…….Does he really feel so threatened by the new more confident me?………I think we need to have a talk about this, but right now, the hurt is just to raw…..I don’t want to argue with him about it, but It was like a big slap in the face!!

Thanks for listening!!

Well here is to a better day!

I hope you all have a super wonderful day and holiday weekend!!