Okay, I had a bad four days! It is not all my m-i-l fault, but thought it was a catchy title! Lets see my start to falling off the wagon began on Thursday! Thursday was the chinese buffett, Friday it was pizza and wings at my son’s, on Saturday we had our bon-fire! I was so good all day Saturday then I got upset with my hubby! He hadn’t told me who all from work he had invited to our bon-fire! He knows that I have issues with some of our co-workers. I was really upset when some of them starting showing up that I had no idea where coming! Then I answer the phone and it is a driver that I have issues with because she shares to much personal info at work with my hubby! Any ways it goes like this I answer the phone and she asks for him and I say he is not here, she goes is this his wife? I tell her yes, she tells me oh, honey could you tell him I won’t be able to make it to your bon-fire, my car broke down. I tell her, sure thing but you know what he didn’t mention he invited you! She tells me oh, yes he invited me the other day! Okay so he gets back home from running to the store and I say hey so and so called and she isn’t coming, why didn’t you tell me you invited her, you know I don’t like the way she acts around you, sharing her personal life with her supervisor/dispatcher, (things she should be sharing with a friend if she could find one)! He claims he invited others and she took it upon herself to think she was invited. Then another co-worker I knew was coming shows up with another one of those type woman who think they are special and don’t have to follow the rules. Yes, I am a rule follower, and we have a dress code that says, no tank tops or sandals. This skinny little b#&ch wears slinky little tank tops and sandals (not a very proffesional way to dress for a bus monitor for special needs kids), and gets away with it because all the guys want to look at her! Hubby thinks I am just being petty, but I am tired of the rules not being for everyone! Anyhow hubby pulls me aside and tells me he did not invite her, she just came as another co-workers date!! I am okay, whatever!! Then I decide I am having a couple low carb low calorie beers (ultra lites). My mother-in-law was watching me like a hawk. Need I say she has never accepted me, I have never done anything right in that womans eyes. My house was never clean enough, I never took care of my kids right. She use to tell my hubby I was rude to her and he would try to make me apologize to her. He knows better about this now, but she is his mother so I try to deal with her the best I can! I made sure she saw every frikin beer I had and I could see her counting each one of them, I sure hope she could count that high. Did I mention she has not once made one comment to me about the weight I have lost! Well, yesterday I was determined to get back on track, and I started the day really good! I was doing fine and then I started feeling sorry for myself, and feeling like my hubby betrayed my feelings by inviting people I have issues with. I couldn’t talk with him about my feelings because he was at work! I reverted back to my old ways of dealing with my feelings! I ate junk! Hubby came home and I didn’t get a chance to talk with him because I had our four year old grandaughter. When she went to bed, I tried to talk to him about it, but he still says he never invited the ones I have issues with that they just took it upon themselves that they were invited! I still feel hurt and betrayed, but I am going to have to deal with those feelings another way! Eating is not going to make it go away, it is going to make feel crappier!!
I know I have done some major venting here, but sometimes venting is the only thing I can do! I am getting back on track today after a four day fall off the wagon! I have come to far on this journey and I will succeed!
I hope everyone had a good weekend and that your week ahead is awesome!
((((((HUGS))))))
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