nana4

I have had a great week. I am so happy to have such amazing buddies here who give me support, inspiration and motivation. I weighed in today and I am pleased to say, I have lost 4 lbs. this week.

It really makes a difference when I journal my food. I journal it before I eat it and that way I can only eat what I have journaled.

I have had my 5 yr. old grandaughter since Wednesday night and I am getting the 2 yr.  old tonight. She is my little whirlwind. I will be lucky to go to the bathroom let alone get on the computer. I am only keeping her 1 night and throught tomorrow. This only proves I am starting to feel my age!

I love this time of year when you can get melons. I love watermelon, cantelope and honey dews. I bought two melons the other night. I can have such great sweet low calorie snacks.

Today is an end of the year picnic where I work. I will be good. I will not be tempted by the bad foods……LOL……ok I will try not to be tempted. I am prepared, I am taking my oriental coleslaw, it is so good and it is within a calorie range I can handle. I will just be careful what I eat. I am taking 2 sl. of my 40 cal. per sl. 100 % Whole wheat bread, no white roll for me. I am going to write down everything I eat. I am not going to take my measuring cups with me, but I think I can judge what I take. I will write it all down and if I do go over today, it will not be the end of the world. It will be a lesson to be more careful in the future.

I hope you are all having a great week!

HUGS!

Food Log

I knew when I began my weight loss journey I would encounter many obstacles. I have been overweight most of my life. I just didn’t realize how many obstacles there would be. I have always been an emotional person. I give up too easy if I don’t get things right the first time. It seems like I am always starting over, because of these reasons.

Since I began this journey almost two years ago, I have gone through some very difficult thing with my children. I have had turmoil with co-workers who think I get special treatment because my husband is a supervisor where we work. If they only knew the truth, he is harder on me! I have a grandson who has special needs he is 8 years old. When he was 5 he was suddenly stricken with transverse myaleyetis. Cody spent a month in the hospital and he almost died. He spent 2 ½ weeks in ICU and another week and a half in the hospital after that and then was med flighted back to Virginia where my son and his wife (who was pregnant at the time), and my granddaughter Natasha lived at that time. He has severe neurological problems. He is having great difficulty coping. He has counselors and has one on one in school. My daughter in law has had to go to the school almost every day these past few weeks. He has even threatened to stab himself with pencil. They thought he has ADD and was on medication, which he is now off because they say now it, was not the right one and was contributing to his behavior. My mom has recently had a stroke and she is doing much better as a matter of fact she is going to come home on Monday. My oldest sister is rearranging my moms’ bedroom for a hospital bed and a hoyer lift. For the past two weeks I have had someone dumping my dogs water, and letting him lose and then turning me in to the Animal control. I am not sure where I am with my hubby anymore. We have been married almost 30 years and you think by now you really know someone. I don’t think I do. Yesterday, I find a pair of woman’s sunglasses in our vehicle and I jokingly ask him if they are his girlfriends (I think they belong to my youngest son’s g/f). Any ways he goes yea, right. I say hey, is your g/f hot and skinny? He goes if I ever got a g/f she would be bigger than you! I was like Whooaaaaaaa! I didn’t say a word, but now I think I know why he is not supportive of me! He wants me to stay fat! I get fewer compliments from him now than when I was 80 lbs heavier. I have to fish for compliments. This morning I tell him I lost two of the 3 lbs. I had gained back last week and he said that’s nice! Will he come around I don’t know! Will I continue this journey, YES! I am hoping he comes around, but I have to do what is best for me and my health regardless of how he feels. For years he talked of moving out of state, and I could never do that. I am very close to my family and now we have 4 grandchildren that live here. He hasn’t mentioned this in a very long time.Last night he started in on how he wants to leave the state and he is sick of how I am holding him back. He has not mentioned moving out of state in so long it took me by surprise. We have friends and co-workers who moved to North Carolina over a year ago and then another co-worker that moved there about 6 months ago. He tells me he has been talking with them about moving there and how much better the pay is for the job he is doing now! Another big surprise and it makes me wonder what else he is hiding from me! Maybe it is just paranoia, but why did he hide it from me for so long?  In all honesty and to be fair to him, he has a lot of issues at work right now. With the new company that took over he is not sure of his position and if he is even going to have a job. We will know this next week (we hope)! I can’t keep going back to my old ways of hiding my feelings in a smorgasbord of food. I don’t expect answers, but mostly I needed to get this off my chest. I need a release, and blogging it seems to be the answer for now.

Next week I only have 2 days of work and then I am on break until July 7^th. I hope by then I can get some of this worked through and know where I am at in my life to be able to seriously continue my journey!

Today is a new day and a new beginning! I am going to journal my food and I am going to get in exercise every day!

Lots of Hugs to my buddies who give me so much inspiration and support!

I need to make time for me a priority! I don’t know how to do this. My family has always been my top priority and I squeezed time in for myself when and if I could. This is why I am in the shape I am in. I have proved to myself I can do it, but I thought by now I would be at my goal weight. It has taken me almost 2 years and I am only at my half way point. I have let myself slip too many times. I thought getting this far it would get easier, but it is actually harder. I find myself making more excuses and self sabatoging myself. Hubby just doesn’t get it. I hear I understand, I understand, but he honestly doesn’t understand. He doesn’t get I want healthier. I buy healthy and he buys junk. I want all the junk out of the house, but he keeps on buying chips and cookies. What can I do? I feel like walking out in the kitchen and just tossing the junk in the garbage, but then I think just because I can’t have it why should I deprive him of what he wants. I feel like I am whining, but I just don’t know how to do this any more!

Any suggestions buddies?

I hope everyone is having a great day!

(((HUGS)))

Last night I ate 4 slices of pepperoni pizza! This morning I am paying for it! I have gotten so use too eating healthier that when I eat the junk I use too and more food than I am use too I end up feeling like crap, yet I do it once in awhile! Why? I guess that bad habits slip in once in awhile!
Hubby didn’t get home from work until 4 this morning and he is zonked out right now. He drives limo and did a prom last night. I had my grandaughter Natasha and she made a bed on the living room floor last night so she is in my workout spot! When she gets up and has her bath I am going to get my workout in!
This afternoon will be busy. After hubby and I take our grandaughter home we are off to visit my mom and his mom. Yesterday hubby’s mom went to the hospital. She has Pneumonia, plus her legs are swelled up with water. If it isn’t one thing it is another.
Well off to read a few blogs before my grandaughter gets up!
Have a great day buddies!

I have done the complete 1 mile walk away the pounds for three days in a row! I am making it a priority to do it first thing in the morning after hubby leaves for work and before I leave for work. I know if I don’t do it then I will procrastinate and keep putting it out telling myself I will do it when I get home or after dinner or before bed and before you know it the whole day is gone and I have not done it! I have one more day of the 1 mile and then  I am going to accomplish the 2 mile.

My mom is doing much better. On Monday she was transferred to a place for her rehab. I am not  happy where she is but the hospital was in a hurry to release her and this was the only place available. We are still in the process of getting her into the place that was ours and her first choice.

I need to vent a little today. Last night I was just fuming my head off. For those of you who don’t know hubby and I work for the same company! I don’t get regular vacations but I get time off when there is no school, hubby is Office Management and gets regular vacations. He wanted some vacation while I was off so we could do something, and the boss wants him to take different time and for me just to take a week off without pay! I was like bull crap! Most drivers and monitors are off at the same time as I am and it will not be busy in the office, I think the boss is just being a jerk! Does he not realize I am not working just for the fun of it, that I need my paycheck to make ends meet! Grrrrrrrrrr! Hubby tells me then I guess I will just not take vacation! I say talk to the boss and tell him it is bull crap! Grrrrrrrrr!  I am ticked this morning too, because I have had issues over peoples childish behavior in there too. People taking my private property out of the vehicle and hide it or just out right stealing it! This stuff had not happened in awhile, but then this morning I went to get my pump bottle of hand sanitizer out of the drawer under my seat to refill my small bottle I keep in the litte pocket on the door and some one had pulled the pump right out of the bottle and taken it just to be a jerk. I get so sick of paying for stuff out of my pocket just to have other people be jerks!

My eating has been good this week and I am feeling so much better getting into an actual excercise routine. It may be a small routine right now, but I actually have one!

Hope everyone is having a great week!

I tried to blog earlier and it didn’t work for me. I have slow dial up internet.

I sent a post to my buddies and I said I was going to go give my Walk Away Pounds 1 Mile  a go this morning. The other day all I could manage was a little over a half a mile, yesterday I didn’t attempt it as I had a horrific sinus headache. Well I did it! I did the whole mile. I had a few minutes before I leave for work so I thought I would hop back on here and let everyone know! Woo Hoo! I am proud of ME! Thank you buddies for encouragment! A special thanks to Tres and Dee, my accountability buddies!

Have a great day everyone! I know I will now!