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Thank you everyone for your responses on my last blog!

It is so draining being ASSertive! I called the Dental Insurance again, and she checked everything while I was on hold for 10 minutes told me No, you don’t have coverage, call your employer! I called hubby tells me he got a fax from headquarters saying they took care of it! I say no it isn’t I just got off the phone with the Dental Insurance and she checked. He gives me the number of the person at headquarters and at first I don’t want to call them, but I think about it for a few minutes and decide to call. He tells me it is taken care of that he took care of it earlier in the day, it is probably just not updated to give it until Monday! And get this it is back dated to the first, Yea, because they have been deducting it all along! I was thinking, Bull shit, I didn’t have it and I want to be refunded, I doubt I will, but I haven’t had it I have paid for it and today is now the 16th! Why should I have to pay for insurance I don’t have!

I do think he feels threatened because I speak up! He tells me I embarress him when I speak up! He has never called me controlling before I honestly think that wasn’t his word, I think he got it from one of his buddy’s who knows what controlling is, he does it to his g/f. She is always, like Yes, anything you say to him. Alot like I use to be and refuse to be any more!

I love my husband with all of my heart, but I will not sit back and keep everything to myself and go back to the old way! When I hurt I am speaking up and not eating a box of cookies or a giant candy bar! If someone says something to me that is not nice I am telling them I don’t  like what you said to me! If someone makes a sexual or racial slur at work, I will continue to speak up! I don’t care anymore when I walk in there and hear you got watch what you say NOW, Bette Jo is here! Yes, they actually say that, because I have turned people in for talking filthy talk and I have turned people in for racial slurs and I will continue to do it!

Would you believe this did not cause me to have a set back today! I did not binge, I wanted too, but I didn’t do it! I opened the fridge about 5 different times and I was like Whooaaaa, don’t you dare! You don’t want to do that! Hubby will be home  shortly and I hope I can remain calm! We do need to have a talk about this, but I don’t think I can do it tonight and stay calm!

Hope you all had a great day!

Big HUGS!

Or am I being a Controling Bitch?

My hubby and I got into the biggest fight ever last night! He told me I was trying to control him! I feel I am just becoming more assertive and he doesn’t like it! I feel like I am more in control of myself than I ever have been! I speak out when I feel like I am being taken advantage of or somebody is walking all over me! I use to just keep everything all bottled up, and that is what gave me such a poor image of myself to beging with! That is what led to me trying to feed my emotions with food and made me overeat and become fat, and this led to me having an even worse self image! He told me that he didn’t want me to call him at work any more or for me to expect him to call me! It wasn’t neccasary for me to be checking up on him at work! I was like Wow! I didn’t think this is what I was doing! After 30 years I still love my husband and miss him so I just call to say hi, how is your day going? I want him to call me if he has to go on the road during the day or if he has to stay later! I didn’t know it was such a big deal! This just seemed so out of character for him to say to me! I totally flipped, and I asked him which one of his work buddy’s told him I was trying to control him?!! He told me, Nobody told him anything and to try to stop blaming things on everybody else! I can’t help it, I know what those people are like where he works. 5 people in the last 6 months have left their spouses for other people at work. It is a big Peyton Place! He told me to stop acting like I was better than everyone else! This stemmed from when I came in to meet him after work! The bitch in there who has caused me nothing but grief since the day she started was sitting outside having a cigarette, and he was out there too! I know he has to get along with her as he is her supervisor, but I don’t have to like her and I never will! I just walked past her and yes, I stuck my nose up in the air! Yes, I am better than she is! I didn’t have an affair with four different married men at work and finally get one of them to leave their spouse for me! I didn’t back stab her to gain control of the committee she forced me out of! I didn’t spread rumors about her! I wasn’t told to apologize to her for grief she has caused, she was told to apologize to me for all of her bullshit, and she has never once even tried!

Well my dental insurance still is not right either! It still only shows my husband having it! I have called work every single day about that! I was told on Friday that it was all straightened out! Well yesterday I went online once again and it still shows only hubby is insured! I called the dental insurance company to see what was going on! After sitting on hold for 20 minutes they tell me that I am not insured only my husband is, and to contact my employer! I call and of course hubby answers the phone and I ask for the boss, he hesitated, but then the boss picked up the line! I told him what I was told and the boss tells me it is not his Fault!! I was like well it is not my fault, and they told me to call my employer, I don’t have the main office numbers or know who to call! It is your job too, staighten this out! He tells me he will see what he can do, I should know something by the end of the day! Guess what, they told him it was straightened out, guess what again, it isn’t! I went online last night and again this morning, I am still not on it, yet they are deducting it from hubby’s paycheck. The insurance began for my hubby on the first and I am still not on it over 2 weeks later! I printed off 2 copies this morning, one for my records and one for them to fax to headquarters! I am sick of the shit and I am being a bitch because of it!

Grrrrr! I am tired of being a bitch because I assert myself! I guess, hubby would rather have the fat woman who just sat back and took everyone else’s shit! Well she is gone and she isn’t coming back!

Sorry for such a long vent, but I need to get it off my chest before I explode!

I hope everyone is having an awesome week!

Time for me to get off the computer and finish getting ready for work!

Have a great day!

Big HUGS!