nana4

The pity party is over! It is time for me to put on big girl panties!

 Thank you so much buddies for telling me like it is! It is time to realize there are just some things I cannot change no matter how bad I want to! I am going to try not to sweat the things I cannot change and work on changing the things I can!

Hubby started back with his weekend job, so hopefully I can get our bills caught back up! Then I can start getting more healthy foods again.

I will start journaling my food again! I have already gone and gotten my Zig Zag Plan for this week! I going to use the extreme weight loss to jump start my loss again! By the end of March I plan on being in onederland!

I am also going back on my anti depressants today! I took myself off them a couple weeks ago! I hate taking meds! I thought they weren’t doing anything! I didn’t realize they were working until I wasn’t on them! I have spent to much time sitting around crying about things instead of working on me!

Thank you all for a shoulder to cry on, a kick in the butt and just plain old telling me like it is!

Big HUGS!

I got that saying from my mother! I am so sick of trying to rob Peter to pay Paul! Another one I got from my mother! I got so behind on bills while I was off work for a month and half to have surgery. I have been back to work for 3 weeks and slowly catching up. Then I remember I never got an electric bill. Our mailbox got hit by a plow and it was probably in there. Then my mother in laws passing. Things were such a turmoil. I am a couple days past due on my electic bill and I called to ask for a couple weeks to pay it and the woman was so rude. She told me she was sorry but she couldn’t help me! I have until Friday to pay it. She told me you wouldn’t be able to go to the grocery store and get groceries and pay for them in two weeks. She then told me to go to Social Services and get help. I told her we don’t qualify, I want to pay my bill but with so much going on I can’t do it! She just kept telling me she was sorry but she couldn’t help me! Grrrrrrrrrr!! I am getting so tired of trying and getting the door slammed in my face. I just needed to vent before I eat everything in the fridge. Good thing is when I pay my electric bill next week I won’t be buying much groceries so there won’t be much to snack on, right!

I am almost done, doing taxes so then I will have more time on here.

I hope you all had a super weekend and have an even better week!

Biggest HUGS Ever!!!!

Last night my older sister Carol called me. My mom is not doing well. She has been a nursing care facility for awhile now. She had a stroke last year, and could no longer be cared for at home. Her kidneys are failing. She has a week heart and lungs and they don’t think dialasis is an option because of these issues. I know I won’t have my mother much longer. I lost my dad 10 years ago and thought that was the end of my world. Now it is my mother. My mother in law passed away three weeks ago. I have let my emotions rule my world. I have not done very well getting back on track. I know what I have to do, but don’t seem to be able to do it. I am afraid of a backslide to my old world. I am eating all the wrong foods at all the wrong times. I am not sleeping well and I get up in the middle of the night and come out to the living room and turn on the tv so as not to wake my hubby. I find myself eating every thing and anything. I am an emotional wreck right now.

When I went shopping last night. I got hubby to buy me a new blender for Valentines Day. I bought some slimfast powder and some bananas and strawberries. I am going to try to do slimfast for a couple weeks to try to jumpstart myself again. I know I am not going to do it for long, but know I can for a couple of weeks and hopefully that is long enough to get myself back on track.

My puppy (Marley) is doing well.

I am off work this coming week and I have to get myself back on track with excerise and eating. I have to stop letting my emotions rule my world. I need my buddies more than ever right now. I know that I would never have come this far without you. You have offered me support, inspiration and motivation. You have kicked my butt and picked me up when I have fallen. You have been there offering me support through all of my struggles!

Thank you all for being my rock!

Big HUGS!

I am going crazy with all of these taxes I am helping with this year! I am spending to much time on the computer for everyone else! I need a buddy fix!

Now onto my other issues……you knew there was more right! Hubby had his doctors appointment (cysts on his kidneys). Doctor says nothing to worry about it comes with age…..hubby is 50. Anyways if it is nothing to worry about why did they give him a pill yesterday that needs to be in his system for 5 days and go for an xray on Monday plus they want him to have another ultrasound. Plus he needs to lose weight. Now he wants to me to help him once again. This will be like the 6th time. He gets discouraged and then he gets mad at me. Problem is he does not like healthy food. Sure I have tricked him into eating a few, but he eats no veggies except corn. He eats very little fruits except bananas and maybe some peaches out of a can! He eats any where from 2-4 peanut butter and jellly sandwiches a day on white bread! He thinks potato chips are a veggie!

I have been so off track with emotional issues myself this week. My adult kids are driving me nuts! I try not to get involved but they keep trying to pull me in! My middle son and oldest son was fighting and then not talking to each other and tried to get me involved. I was so upset! They are brothers come on! They are now finally talking but all is still not good and it upsets me so bad seeing this!

I promise today, I will try harder to keep my emotions seperate from my eating!

Love Ya!

Big HUGS!

It has been a long day for me. We had water problems this weekend and my father in law got it fixed! Had my father in law my oldest son and wife and three grandkids, my youngest son and  his g/f over for dinner.

This morning my other daughter in law came over with her daughter and grandaughter and brought me my new puppy. My new puppy is 4 months old she is a White Lab, and Australian Husky mix. I will take a picture of her later and post it. He is beautiful! This is the daughter in law that is married to my middle son, they have not been together in two years, but we keep in contact. I have not seen her in two years. It is a long confusing story……but anyways it was so good to see her and she was shocked at seeing me even though she had seen pictures!

I went out for Chinese with my oldest sister last night. I ate bad! It was good to get out and visit with her. She is usually very bossy to me, but last night was nice. We talked got along great and all was good!

I think I am going to go take a long hot bubble bath, put on my jammies and have a quiet evening with hubby! First I am going to check a few more blogs and try to catch up!

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Big HUGS!

Sometimes you need to be hard on yourself, but sometimes you need to take a break to reflect on everything you have going on in your life. Sometimes you need to make yourself #1 priority and other times you need to make others come first! For those of you who don’t know my mother in law passed away on the the 22nd of January. She was only 72 years old. She retired 10 years ago and said she wasn’t going to do anything. That is exactly what she did NOTHING! I don’t want to be like this! It is a sad loss for those she left behind. My father in law is alone after 53 years of marriage. Her children and grandchildren, and so many people will sadly miss her. I have been so off track trying to be there for everyone else. I have used every excuse imaginable. Now it is time for me to get hard on myself again!

I have had so many compliments this past week from people I had not seen in a long time. People asking me for my secret for weight loss! I told them I don’t have a secret! It has been a long struggle to change. I am in this for the long haul for the rest of my life, I eat less, I eat healthier and I excercise!

My middle son’s g/f took some family pictures. I have always hated having my picture taken. I still see myself the way I was. She took one of my me with my 3 sister in laws. I was shocked when I saw it! I was the 2nd smallest one in the picture (my skinny sister in law Nora is the smallest)! I use to be the biggest! I was actually happy with the picture! My daughter in law got out a box of pictures and her and my middle sons g/f  where going through them. I have only known my my son’s g/f since Christmas time, so she didn’t know me before I lost weight. She didn’t believe old pics of me were really me! LOL……..gotta love that girl!

Tomorrow is ME time! I am off work for a long weekend! Tomorrow I am sitting down, and making me an exercise schedule I can do and I am going to work on my eating plan too! If I want to be 149 in 2009, I need to get my butt in gear and get hard on myself once again!

Hope you are all having a great weekend!

Biggest HUGS Ever!