nana4

Last night my older sister Carol called me. My mom is not doing well. She has been a nursing care facility for awhile now. She had a stroke last year, and could no longer be cared for at home. Her kidneys are failing. She has a week heart and lungs and they don’t think dialasis is an option because of these issues. I know I won’t have my mother much longer. I lost my dad 10 years ago and thought that was the end of my world. Now it is my mother. My mother in law passed away three weeks ago. I have let my emotions rule my world. I have not done very well getting back on track. I know what I have to do, but don’t seem to be able to do it. I am afraid of a backslide to my old world. I am eating all the wrong foods at all the wrong times. I am not sleeping well and I get up in the middle of the night and come out to the living room and turn on the tv so as not to wake my hubby. I find myself eating every thing and anything. I am an emotional wreck right now.

When I went shopping last night. I got hubby to buy me a new blender for Valentines Day. I bought some slimfast powder and some bananas and strawberries. I am going to try to do slimfast for a couple weeks to try to jumpstart myself again. I know I am not going to do it for long, but know I can for a couple of weeks and hopefully that is long enough to get myself back on track.

My puppy (Marley) is doing well.

I am off work this coming week and I have to get myself back on track with excerise and eating. I have to stop letting my emotions rule my world. I need my buddies more than ever right now. I know that I would never have come this far without you. You have offered me support, inspiration and motivation. You have kicked my butt and picked me up when I have fallen. You have been there offering me support through all of my struggles!

Thank you all for being my rock!

Big HUGS!