nana4

Just what I get for sticking up for myself. I am tired of dealing with my driver. He makes me feel like I don’t do anything right and it I know I am. I have talked about this in previous blogs. It is not just one issue it is numerous issues. My employer doesn’t want to address it and that make me feel bad. I have been offered a different run, and I told them I don’t find that acceptable. I was on this run first I have seniority! There thing is they treat bus drivers like they are God! They tell me I am right, but the driver doesn’t get anything they offer me another run or the solution of the day is give us a bus instead of the caravan we are using now! What is that going to do, put me on the bus with the same driver who I am having issues with. I don’t get it! I go to work every day! I do my job! I do my job well! I have a good relationship with the parents and the children! My driver treats me like I am stupid. Today was just the frosting on the cake. My son’s g/f made me a new CD yesterday of kids songs. I put it in and he didn’t like some of the songs! He tells me some of the songs are okay, but he doesn’t like the singers! I am thinking so fricking what!!!  The idea is to make the kids happy and get them to the school safely not to entertain him! So I pull out the CD and put it back in the case and ignore him the rest of the run! We drop off the kids at the school and we go to the service station we stop at in the morning to use the rest room! I call base and tell them I am not taking this crap any more! I get my stuff out of the van and ride back home on the other bus that transports to the same school. I tell them I am not going to work this afternoon! I am not working with that driver! It is not just this one issue it is numerous things leading up to it all combined! It is making me feel worthless and like I don’t matter because I am just the bus monitor! I think my job is very important and I do the best job possible! They tell me I am in the right, but offer me another run or the other option is a bus! I don’t get it! If I am in the right why do I get the shit! It makes no sense! I need my job! I love my kids! I don’t know what to do! It is so much bull! I want to scream, pull out my hair, eat every thing in the house! I won’t, because I won’t cave in to my emotions! I am home this afternoon until they figure out what to do! I know it won’t be my way! I am sick of feeling this way! Am I too emotional? Maybe! I just don’t like feeling like my feelings don’t matter! I suggested they give him a run without a monitor, but that got shot down!

I hate it that lately I have been feeling so negative, but I have to vent! I need to get it out or I will explode!

Hope you are all having a better day than me!

Big HUGS!