Stop this roller coaster I want to get off…..
I feel like my life is spiraling out of control! I can’t get a grip on what to do! I am an emotional mess right now! I know what needs to be done to accomplish my goals, but can’t seem to do it! I have no energy to do what needs to be done! All it takes is my husband to say some stupid little thing and I am off crying! I have been taking everything, everyone says to heart! I am either crying or bitching! I want everything perfect and want to fix everything for everybody and I have to make myself realize this is impossible!! I am so physically and mentally drained that I just can’t seem to organize anything in my life!
My mom is in a nursing facility and has been for over a year! About six months ago they had to take her off her blood thinner because of other health issues and so we don’t know how long she will be with us because they say this could cause another stroke! I get so depressed when I go see her I don’t go as often as I should. We both get so frustrated because she can’t communicate very well and it is all I can do to not cry while I am there!
I miss my son who moved to VA! He seems to be doing well and has a job and is staying with my youngest sister! Just before he left he was with this girl and she is pregnant and they broke up. The way things are adding up, I don’t believe the baby is my son’s! She has been horrible and telling a lot of crap! She was sending me horrible text messages telling me horrible things and blaming me for things! I know my son is not perfect, but believe me this girl is a pschyo! She sent me 34 texts within a two day period, she finally stopped when I told her to stop harassing me and that I had saved her texts.She supposedly is due in the middle of Sept. and sent my youngest son’s g/f a text almost two weeks ago that she had the baby and sent her a pic. which of course she passed on. Then this girl posted a message on facebook about how amusing it was that people believe anything and pass on rumors!
My youngest son who is 20 is in jail for violating probation for a minor stupid act he committed! His g/f is also pregnant! Well she wrote him a dear John letter and doesn’t go see him. He is so depressed over it! His g/f has been good with me and I even went to her ultrasound last week! I know a lot of this has to do with her being pregnant and feeling alone with Ethan in jail and not being here for her. I just want to shake her and say wake up! You two have been together for over two years and you are having a baby together. He will be out by the end of next month and the baby is not due until December! I already have one grandchild with my middle son that I don’t see because he is not with her mother and she plays games with us seeing her! I just can’t go through this again!
I need to take my own advice and take those baby steps to get back on track! I need to stop trying to fix things out of my control!
I am so thankful for all of my buddies that offer me the support I would not have without them! I will get my motivation back, it is just going to be a little at a time! I have to stop hiding under the rocks and get out of my comfort zone again! I can and I will do this!
Hope you are all having a super week!!
Big HUGS!
Woo you are going through a rough patch here. I actually dont know what to say I am at a loss for words, surprisingly.
It must be something in the air, Ive had that lack of energy looming around too. The storm will pass though.
Sorry, I meant : time to let go of things that are out of YOUR control.
Again, good luck and you can do it!
That is alot to deal with. BUT I agree sometimes you have to let go & let GOD..know what I mean. We cant control the actions of crazy people or people that are overly emotional. All you can do is show love & compassion for the people in each situation. As for your mother,I am very sorry to hear she isnt doing well. Maybe you 2 should try communicating by a dry erase board or just sit with her & hold her hand. Sometimes we really muck things up with words.
Ok motivation 101…..people need you. YOU NEED YOU TO BE HEALTHY! We cant support our families or ourselves if we arent around to do it. I have heard it over & over again…we need to workout no matter how crummy we feel. Women are always the emotional glue that holds things together. I have no doubt you CAN do this.
Hang in there
Oh hun, you sure put a lot on your shoulders ((HUGS)) But you know what, you don’t need to carry around with you….I agree, you have to let go of things that are out of your control. All it’s doing is driving you nuts and it doesn’t change anything but making you miserable and weighin you down. There are a few things in life that are in our control and our body is one of them. Well, we don’t have total control over it
but we can control what we eat, how we life and how we treat our body 
We love ya and will always be here for you, so anytime you need to vent, just let it out 
Now do it 
((HUGS))
Now I want you to take a deep breather, let go of everything that is hurting you. EVERYTHING! I know you don’t want to, I know you want to change everything and make everything alright, but you have to realize, that you can’t. If you keep holding on to it is just like a snowball rolling down the hill, getting bigger and bigger with everything that’s clinging on to it..
You do what you need to do to make yourself healthy, control what you can and that is your diet, your workouts and make sure you do things that make you happy, not sad
Come on girl, losing all that weight, didn’t happen by accident, so I know that you can do this
Oh my….Big hugs. Hang in there…You can do this and you WILL….or I’m hunting you down.
Bette Jo, I bet you didn’t think I would be checking to check up on you well SURPRISE ! I am here and just as you have told me in the past(hmmm,I think it was a couple of days ago!) to take those baby steps ! I know that you are going through such a hard time and I identify with your pain girl ! We are gonna make it and we have to stick together ! I’m gonna tell ya, Facebook can be a friend or enemy depending on who’s writing ! My soon to be ex sister in law is writing bad things about my brother and i do my best to lighten the situation and make her look on the bright side of it, she and my brother do not want the same thing ! She believes in beating the crap out of people to get her way and my brother said No, Thanks ! He was raised not to hit girls so he knew he had to leave because it was not a great relationship ! I am here fror you and care very much about you ! Don’t make me come up New york to get you cuz, we’d probably miss each other coming to one anothers house to kick butt LOL ! Don’t worry about psycho you know my phrase what comes around goes around and she will find someone that will be as equally evil as she is and know how it feels ! Now we can do this both of us we need to grab those boot straps and start kickin’ ! Hugs, Kimmi
Girl,
This brought tears to my eyes. We share a lot in common. You want to help and fix things. You care soo very much and take things to heart. Then, you hurt cause you cant control things or make the changes that really need to be made. Oh girl, I have been there with family and friends too. It sure brings a world of hurt on your heart doesnt it.
We’ve been for quite some time havent we. Its been such a very hard year huh girl. But, girl, I’m learning something. I’ve been spinning my wheels in the same damn track for months now. I get some fire and start over and something will happen and off I go–off the wagon. I was looking over my blogs looking for a certain one that had information I needed last night. I realized then that i’m doing the exact same thing over and over again. I think we both need to stop doing that–we damn sure are not getting anywhere. So, are we gonna keep doing it or we gonna actually get down and make some changes for the better? We are both emotional girls–I dont know about you but if I dont get some more backbone–I’m gonna be still stuck in this same damn place. God, I sure dont wanna. So what do you say girl? Make some changes with me? Something we know we can do to put us back on the right path? We cant control our lives as far as relatives and events–but we can learn to finally take care of ourselves. Who in the world ever told us that stop taking care of ourselves was even an option?
Come on girl, up you go…lets take a fresh start ok.
I meant we’ve been friends for quite some times–typing wasnt keeping up with my mind lol.
((((((((((((Bette Jo))))))))))))) I think this is a time to let go and let God. You can only do so much. You need to take care of YOU. You have a loving heart and that makes it so hard. But you have to take care of your self first. Love you.