nana4

Sitting here this morning doing some thinking! Wondering why I am always HANGING ON! I hang to things both physically and emotionally! I have to much junk that is cluttering up my life! It is hard for me to throw anything away and give up on anything! Sometimes this is a good thing! It is a good thing that I hang on to BS and all of my good buddies (FRIENDS) here at BS. It is a good thing that I hang on to getting losing weight and getting healthier! It is a bad thing that hang onto things that need to just be gone! I hang onto emotional issues that need to just be tossed out with the trash! I need to learn how to let it go! My hubby is always telling me LET IT GO! I don’t know how! I have to much physical junk too! It clutters up my closets, my desk, everything! Don’t get me wrong, my house is not like those on TV with people that hoard things, but it cluttered. I get this from my mother! I am always thinking if I throw this away I will need it next week! I hold onto useless things because it holds an emotional attatchment. My dad has been gone 11 years and I won’t throw away a thing he gave me! It is like if I don’t get rid of it, I won’t lose my memories! I hold on to hurt and pain people have caused me! I want to let it go, but then it makes me feel vulnerable! I feel like I have to start letting some of the physical and emotional baggage I have lying around to move on with my life and my journey! Just don’t really know how to do it!

There is one thing I really have to do today!

I am letting go of my FAB team! I have worked hard at this team and so few members come anymore! It served it’s purpose! I met many wonderful buddies and I hang onto that as I say Good-bye to this team and move on!

I am back on track and I plan on staying that way!!

Have an awesome weekend my FRIENDS!

Biggest HUGS Ever!!

I know it was my choice to be the fool I was on vacation. We went out to much and I made very bad food choices. Every place we went to I had the opportunity to eat healthy and I choice not too!! I kept telling myself I was on vacation! It was a big excuse and a big mistake! You see now, I am having a really hard time getting back on track! I know I will do it, I am just so dissapointed in myself!

I feels so sluggish and tired! I have been skipping my vitamins, not drinking enough water, and eating all the wrong things! As of today, I am back to journaling my food, taking my vitamins and drinking my water! Today is the day I get back on track completely with everything including the dreaded excercise!!

Hope everyone is having an awesome day!!

HUGS!!

I knew they did, but convinced myself that it wasn’t going to be that bad it was only 9 days of vacation. How in the world could I put on 9 lbs.? I hope some is water, but I know I also ate whatever I wanted and drank whatever I wanted. I know I could have made good choices, but I kept telling myself I am on vacation!

For the most part, I had a great time in Virginia on vacation! We went to visit my youngest sister and her partner and my niece and nephew. Bad thing half way through our visit, my sister got a phone call her ex-mother in law who lived here in NY passed away. She was only 56 yrs. old. She was a very overweight and unhealthy person. She was over 400 lbs. at about 5 feet tall. She had been in the hopspital for quite awhile with many health issues. They were on the way into surgery for a procedure she needed and she went into cardiac arrest and they could not save her! My neice and nephew were devasted at the loss of their grandmother and left to come to NY with their dad for the funeral. This is a wake up call for me! I am 49 years old do I want this to happen to me? But it was not enough of a wake up call that I began watching what I was eating the rest of vacation!!

I actually did not get back on my scales until today and I almost flipped!! No wonder my clothes feel tight!! I am not going back there!! I am back with a vengance and I really mean it this time!! I need all my buddies to kick my butt, big time!!

HUGS!

Yesterday I got myself back on track with my eating!! Yea it felt great!! I now have to get back on track with some excercise! I know that there will be days I slip up, but I can’t let that stop me any more!!

Thanks to all of my wonderful buddies that help me with so much motivation, and inspiration!

Kama, and Kimmi thanks for not letting me throw in the towel! Telling me I am worth it on the days, I don’t feel like I am! I know I am worth it, I just forget about it some days when I am trying to find time for me!! I have always put everyone else first and it is hard to say no. I am really going to work harder on this!

I hope you all have an awesome day!

HUGS

This is what I will repeat to myself every time I want to eat something I should not!

Here I am almost three years later still plugging along at BS! I have learned so much along the way, but I am tired of being fat! I am going to stop crying about it and do something about it! I am going to get serious again!! Yeah I have said it all before, but for some reason I know I am going to do it this time!

No matter how much I worry about my kids and what they do, they are going to do what they want to do and hopefully learn from their mistakes! They are adults and I have to stop trying to fix everything for them!

I will go see my mother more and focus on the fact she loves me and I love her! The communication is hard, but just being there is what is important!

I will keep reminding myself, two more weeks and I have three off and then…….we are going to Virginia for a week! Yipee!

I hope everyone had a super weekend and you all have a wonderful week!!

BIG HUGS!