nana4nana4

I am glad this week is almost over…

nana4 — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 09:21:18 +0000

it has been a very stressful week for me.

We lost our dog Bear this week. It still can’t get over it. He was such a big part of our family since the day we got him from the animal shelter.

I have finally come to the conclusion (I am a slow learner sometimes), that the (bitch) at work is not goin to get to me any more. Why should I let her crap keep me from going in there and going to lunch with hubby or socialize with other co-workers that I enjoy seeing. What she thinks or does is beyond my control, and people can see through what she is doing. She belittles me trying to make herself look better, but in all reality she is making herself look the fool.

My oldest sister has always had a way of making me feel bad. It has always been her way or no way! She has been downright rude to me since my mom has had so many health issues and is now in a nursing home. She doesn’t think I go to see her enough. I have come to the conclusion, my sister is an unhappy person and she is miserable so she just wants everyone around her to be as miserable as she is. Well I am not going to let that happen. I love my mom and she knows it. My mom loves me! I go to see my mom as often as I can. It is me that has to deal with how I handle my relationship with my mom not her. I don’t need to feel guilty because I can’t go see her every day.

My five year old grandaughter had her physical and shots last week for school. She is the one I have blogged about in the past about being over weight and everyone including her mom and dad making comments on her weight. I have had a lot of issues with this too. I have told them not to make such a big deal of it. I worry that if they do they will make her more likely to have issues with Bulemia or Anorexia as she gets older. Well when they weighed her at the doctors she weighed 64 lbs. and was 42 inches tall. Her mom told me she was 95% over weight. Well I started thinking that doesn’t sound right. I looked up weight information for children, and what it actually says is she is in the 95th percentile. My grandaughter eats pretty healthy when she is with me. I have been trying to get my (skinny) daughter in law to try to just buy healthier things for Natasha to eat and give her better choices. I hope something finally kicks in. I think if they make a big deal about it, my grandaughter is going to develop more issues about her weight.

As far as my weigh in for the week, well I maintained, again. I am okay with it, because it was not a gain. I went overboard in the begining of the week, with stress eating, and got myself back in control and finished out the week back on track. I know if I hadn’t gotten back on track it would have been a gain.

I am going to my oldest son’s for a cook out today! I am taking a veggie tray! I will try filling up on the raw veggies before I eat the rest so I can keep in control!

I hope you all have a great weekend!

You are all so amazing with your support, inspiration and motivation!

Big HUGS!

We lost our dog Bear yesterday…….

nana4 — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 09:24:51 +0000

We have had Bear for 2 1/2 years. He has been a big part of our family since the day we brought him home from the Animal Shelter. He was a huge loveable dog. My grandchildren loved him. We had gone shopping and when we came home he was not acting right,he suddenly became sick and my husband and I were trying to get him in the back of our blazer. He couldn’t stand up and as we stood there trying to help him he took his last breath. From what we were able to tell the Vet he thinks he may have had Bloat. We couldn’t afford to have an autopsy done, so we won’t ever know for sure. With all of the trouble we had recently with people coming on our property and undoing his chain, emptying his water etc. the first thing we thought of was someone poisoned him. My husband called the Sheriff who in turn called Animal Control. Animal control seems to agree with the vet. I will try to think in my heart he died of bloat instead of thinking someone would really be cruel enough to poison him.

Last night after I finally ate dinner is wasn’t a good dinner, I ate pizza with my husband. Today is a new day. I bought me all good foods when I was shopping.

I hope everyone has a good week!

Big HUGS!

I am worth it…….

nana4 — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 11:58:48 +0000

I have maintained two weeks in a row! I am 2 lbs. away from my mini goal! I think this past weekend, I had a little self sabatoge going on! I had a hard time getting myself back on track! I was going to reward myself with a new haircut when I got to that mini goal! I am not going to wait! I am going to go get my haircut tonight! I need to do it to make me feel good about me! My hair has been driving me nuts! It has been over 3 months since I last had a haircut, and that was just a trim and had it layered and thinned out! Now it is a frizzy messy mop that I can’t control!

Woo Hoo! Two more days, and it is time for our camping trip! I am getting so excited, we have not done anything in forever! It will be my hubby all three of my son’s my daughter in law, one son’s girlfriend and 3 of my 4 grandkids and me! There is a huge heated pool, I plan on spending my time in. The camp is having a squirt gun war, and I have my squirt guns already! Then Saturday night they are having a band, I plan on boogeying!

Hope you are all having a good week!

Big HUGS!

OOOOOPS I fell off the wagon……..

nana4 — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 12:29:08 +0000

over the weekend! I did so good for all the added stress I was going through. Then Saturday we went to a graduation party and I totally blew it! Then I have had trouble getting back on track. Well today is a whole new day! I am back on track and I plan on staying that way! I am also on break until September 4th. I need the break, I feel so drained right now. We are also going camping this Thursday through Sunday. All three of my son’s are suppose to be going along with a daughter in law on son’s girlfriend and 3 of my 4 grandkids! Woo Hoo! I can’t wait! There is a heated pool I plan on spending a lot of time in. The camp grounds is having a squirt gun war, and we got our sqirt guns already! They are also having a band on Saturday night! I am ready to boogie!

My five year old grandaughter says she is staying with me until I go back to work. She starts kindergarten this fall. She has a doctors appointment for her shots on Wednesday, mom is picking her up and taking her and she says she is coming back here. She told her mom and dad she wants to stay with NaNa and PaPa to give them a break! LOL……I guess she doesn’t think I need a break! Gotta love her!

Well I better get to the laundry!

Big HUGS!

My scales aren’t moving…..

nana4 — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 23:10:04 +0000

so far this week, but I am okay with it. My clothes are fitting better and some are even looser, so I must be doing something right. The other morning I put on a pair of shorts that I had not worn in awhile and I pulled them back off without undoing the zipper. I decided it was not a good idea to wear them to work, I was afraid I would give someone a free show!

It has been a stressfull week with my mom in the hospital, and I have wanted to revert to my old ways, but I have stuck to plan. I have not gotten in all of my excercise, but I have been eating right. Tomorrow is my last day of work until after Labor Day! I am so glad I need this break!

My mom is being moved tomorrow to a nice nursing home facility. It is difficult to watch this happen. It is so hard when your parents get older and this happens. I am glad that she is going to a nice place, and it is close for all of her kids to visit her often!

I have so many wonderful buddies that have been there for me this week! Thank you so much!

Hope you are all having a great week!

Big HUGS!

So many wonderful buddies…..

nana4 — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 09:42:06 +0000

I have so many wonderful buddies. I knew I had them, but this past week has proved how many and how wonderful they are. I have been on an emotional roller coaster! I didn’t let my emotions get to me this time! I stuck with my plan and every time I wanted to let my emotions rule me, I gave myself a talk, I said a a prayer for the person who is lying and making horrific accustations against me! I know that the truth will win out! I know it could be worse instead of the victim I could be that person who is doing the wrong!

One more week of work and then I am on break for 2 1/2 weeks. Summer school for the pre-schoolers is done on Friday and then I don’t go back until the Wednesday after Labor Day! While I am off hubby is taking a few vacation days and we are going camping for 3 days! I can’t wait!

Well I guess I better go check on some buddies and get ready for work!

Biggest HUGS!

Learning to deal with my emotions…….

nana4 — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 12:22:11 +0000

I am doing a lot better than I was. I have recieved some very encouraging words from my buddies. I am an early riser, even on the weekends and a lot of times I just turn on the TV for some noise. Well I had it on a church program (not sure which one it was), but the prayer that was being said had a something that really caught my attention. “Remember if you have been the victim of someone’s insecurities and bitterness, it could be worse you could be them”.

I came online and did a little google search for prayers concerning this and this is what I found, and I wanted to share it with everyone.

5 fingers prayer

1. Your thumb is nearest to you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C.S. Lewis once said, a “sweet duty”.

2. The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.

3. The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God’s guidance.

4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is fact that this is our weakest finger; as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.

5. And lastly comes our little finger; the smallest finger of all. Which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, “the least shall be the greatest among you.” Your pinky should remind you to pray for yourself. By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.

Should you find it hard to get to sleep tonight; Just remember the homeless family who has no bed to lie in.

Should you find yourself stuck in traffic; don’t despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for the last three months.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known what it’s like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week, for $15.00 to feed her family.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance, Think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering; what is life all about, what is my purpose? Be thankful, there are those who didn’t live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people’s bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be them!!!

I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!

Biggest HUGS!

Mixed emotions for me today…..

nana4 — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 09:38:12 +0000

It is hard to explain but today is a day that is full of mixed emotions for me. It is a day I have been looking forward to for a long time, yet very aprehensive to what the total outcome will be. My middle son who has always been my problem child is coming home. Well not actually to my home, but to his older brother’s home. When he was little he was the one I thought would be someone great when he grew up he knew what he wanted and I always thought he would do it. When he became a teenager, he experimented with drugs and alcohol and started getting into trouble. He was always getting into trouble for one stupid thing after another. He almost didn’t graduate from high school because he missed to much school his senior year when he had a small stint in jail. Well he didn’t apply himself and although he graduated he didn’t get a regular diploma he got an IEP (individual education plan), in other words it was a piece of paper saying he completed school. (While he was in jail this time he got his GED and he plans on going to college.)For the next few years he lived in VA for awhile came back to NY and got into scrapes here and there. Almost 3 years ago he married a woman 17 years older than him. At first I was not happy, but as I came to know his wife I was so hopeful that maybe now he would grow up and do something with his life. The problem was he didn’t alcohol won out again. (they are now in the process of a divorce).He started spending more time with the wrong people and did some stupid stuff once again. In May of 2007 he violated drug court and he has been in jail for over a year. He has a beautiful 3 year old daughter (she will be 4 in Sept.) that he hardly knows. I never got to see her until she was almost 2. While he has been in jail I have been allowed to see her and keep her on weekends. Last weekend was my last of that for awhile I think. You see my g/d mother decided I am not taking her any more. If my son wants to see her I have to call and he can go to her other grandmother’s to see her. This is all a game with them and I am pissed. You see mommy wants my son back and it is not happening, he thought about it and decided it would not work and it would only be worse for my g/d when it ended. I need to talk with him when I get home from work today. He needs to get a job and start paying support so he has a leg to stand on. I know he is an adult (he is 24) but I want him to know I am there to guide him. I have not seen him the whole time he has been in jail. (as a mother I just couldn’t bring myself to go there, I know where he is that is enough, I don’t want to see it.)I have sent him many letters and he has written back. It sounds like he is changing, and that is my hopes and prayers. He has had a long time to think and I hope with all of my heart that he will be the man I know in my heart he can be.

Please keep us in your prayers today!

Biggest HUGS!

I pigged out last night…….

nana4 — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 21:05:29 +0000

Yes, I let my emotions get the best of me again! I tried to talk myself out of it, but I just wouldn’t listen. I am totally back on track today!

Before my evening of self pity and letting my emotions rule my eating, it was going pretty good. I was at my son’s for a cookout. My younger sister was up from VA again. She is still so amazed at what weight I have lost already. We got in a discussion about weight loss and I challenged her and her girlfriend to see who could lose the most weight by Christmas when they are back up. Then came the hard part who was going to go first to tell each other our weights. I could not believe it my weight was the lowest of the 3 of us. I weigh 27 lbs. less than my baby sister. I have never been smaller than my sister in my entire life. I think along with the weight loss challenge groups I belong to her on Buddyslim and my new weight loss challenge with my sister and her g/f, I am well on my way with more motivation. The lady co-worker I have been helping with her weight loss also thinks she wants to join my challenge with my sister and her g/f !

I hope you are all having a good week!

Biggest HUGS to all of my amazing and wonderful inspirational buddies !!!!!!!!!!!!

Wish I could throw out all the junk……..

nana4 — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 10:45:25 +0000

my hubby keeps buying! I buy fruits and veggies and healthy snacks, while hubby still buys his Little Debbies and chips and donuts……..grrrrrrrrrrr. Yesterday, I took them all out of the packages and put them in food storage containers and stuck them in the pantry. If I don’t see the packaging every time I open the pantry maybe they won’t be as tempting. I know they are there, but now they are hidden somewhat! I swear the closer I get to my goals the more hubby is trying to sabatoge me!

Oh, how I keep hoping and praying he will get the message of wanting us both to be healthy! I know he can do it, but he says it is too hard. When I first began this journey he joined me and he lost 12 lbs. right off the bat. Then all of a sudden he is buying the junk again, and when I asked him why he said it is too hard. I only tried pressing it with him once and he told me “you eat what you want and I will eat what I want”, and I have not said another word to him about it. I know that he has to do this on his own terms, not on mine. I wouldn’t be able to do this on anyone elses terms it has to be my terms and my choices. I have decided I want to be healthier, thinner and happier. I can only hope and pray as I continue on this journey for a healthier me, he will one day decide he wants to join me!

I hope that everyone is having a great weekend!

Biggest HUGS!